May 18, 2017

Today has me thinking about life and death

I wish it was just another Thursday

But today will never be “just another day” for me ever again

On this day,  someone I loved breathed his last and someone I love took a first breath

It is bittersweet

The circle of life encompassed on the 18th of May each year for the last three years

I have no one to share this experience with

I am alone

I feel like an ancient tree

Or a bald eagle

Or the last unicorn

The heaviness I carry is part of who I am

I must evoke self-preservation to manage it

Today I surrender and let grief guide me where it will

I will smile and cry, maybe all at once

I will remember things I tried to forget and forget things I want to remember

I will travel through the past to the future and back to the present, multiple times

Then when grief has had it’s fill, I will crawl my way back out of the murky waters that try to keep me under

I will remember that my story is not over

My story has pain, trauma, and loneliness, but it also has hope, love, and joy

I hurt now, but I will not hurt forever

Because nothing is forever

It is the nature of life

And that is why I know the value of it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

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