Ice Queen

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It is chilly in here

The air practically turns into icicles when I breathe

Except that it’s 72 degrees

And I’m angry with you for almost breaking my heart

Here we are, sitting and pretending like it didn’t happen

Like you almost didn’t end us over a “what if”

But I can’t pretend

I can’t go back to kissing and snuggling when you made me hold my breath

When you made me think, “I knew this would happen”

When you almost made all my fears come true

Then you took it back

I went to sleep anticipating that it might be over

Only to wake to a never mind

It was so easy for you to say that you “can’t be without me”

That “you want us to work”

And of course,”sorry for last night”

But it wasn’t as easy for me to take back those shed tears

To erase the fracture that started in the middle of my heart

Or to forget the thoughts that “I would be okay without you” in order to soothe myself

You don’t realize how your “process” affects me

I can’t turn it on and off at will

So I create a small blizzard to hold the space between us

Until I am ready to let it thaw

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

7 responses to “Ice Queen

  • heather beach

    Sam your writing is just amazing. I’m blown away by the rawness, the poetry and the truth. Everything you say is relatable. Everything you say just hits me with “I recognise that”. I know you will find a way through. Such ability to get to the bottom of oneself at all times is so important xxx ps it’s me smelling mint here btw

  • survivednarc

    We have all been there, when the end of a relationship suddenly seems near/possible, it is like standing too close to the edge of a precipice!! It is awful.
    πŸ’œ

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