Present

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Therapy continues to prove a priceless balm to my healing

New grief triggers old grief and so the dominos of my grief stacked up against each other, causing  me to lose perspective and feel completely overwhelmed

“They are separate,” she said. “What happened with your student is sad and horrible, but it is not the same as when your uncle was killed.”

And she is right.

My heart breaks for my student. But the grief I feel for him is not the same as the grief I still fell for my murdered uncle or for my tragic divorce

I focused on the word, “separate”

So my grief became more manageable and I was able to cry, knowing who I was crying for and why

Then I became angry

I allowed myself to be angry and stay angry for as long as I felt it

Slowly I started feeling better

Today I am happy

I am grateful

I feel lighter

Grief is still near and I know it will visit in waves

For this moment, I’m enjoying remembering what happy feels like

I have told myself that I will take each moment as it comes, whether it is pain, pleasure, joy, sadness or anything in between

This life that we are given is precious

I want to be present for it

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

4 responses to “Present

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