This time

Image result for love and time images

Sometimes I think about where I am now compared to where I’ve been in the past two years

This time last year, I was devastatingly heartbroken and spending time with men who didn’t care too much about my worth

This time the year before that, I was alone in a new apartment, heartbroken, distraught, and afraid

This year has felt different

Fuller and happier, in between the sad moments

There are many reasons why the end of this year is different, but I know the main one is because of Mr. Artist

How fortunate am I that I have the love of a man who gets teary eyed, not at the thought of losing me, but at the realization that he finally has me?

He told me today that he felt like us being together is a dream, because I was the woman who kept pushing him away

And yet here we are, almost 10 months later, with me kissing his face gently and whispering how much I love him

Love is a puzzle to me

I’ve stopped trying to understand exactly what it is that draws one person to another, especially with all of the different choices in the world

I may never fully understand why he loves me the way he does

He certainly attempts to help me understand by telling me all the wonderful and beautiful things he sees in me, yet, a part of me is still baffled

I know why I love him as much as I do

But words are too limiting to completely express all of the reasons why

Every time he looks at me with those earnest, awestruck eyes that are enthralled with me, I’m left speechless

The feeling is too great to describe

In the midst of the chaos and destruction that has been my personal life these past few years, having him in it this year has been a soothing balm for my pain

I never, ever, would have imagined my life looking as it does now

More so, I could have never imagined experiencing a different kind of love than I’ve been used to and loving every moment of it

And I definitely did not think I’d be experiencing it so soon

There is no replacing lost loves, I accept that

But a new love can be so amazing that it makes the void of the other loves shrink and maybe, eventually, even become unnoticeable

I don’t know what this time next year will look like for me, but I have a good feeling about it

A really good feeling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

9 responses to “This time

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