It’s my cleavage, I’ll show it if I want to

Here’s proof that Mr. Artist is indeed not perfect:

Seems he has a bit of a jealous streak

And some old fashioned  stereotypical gender views

If you know anything about me, you know I won’t stand for either of those things

ESPECIALLY when it is concerning me

The “issue” of my attire first appeared on the radar during Halloween

I dressed in a black leather corset-style top that was very low cut (it’s a corset, that’s kinda the point)

 

My “problematic” Halloween outfit

 

 

Later that same night

 

Now this was not the first time I had worn something low cut around Mr. Artist

However, it was the first time I heard that it actually bothers him

I found this out because he initially didn’t say anything about the way I looked (which was very unusual for him)

In fact, he hardly looked at me at all

When I prompted him, he said I looked good in a half-hearted manner

I knew something was wrong but I wasn’t quite sure what it was

After much prying, it came out that he felt my top was a bit “revealing” and it made him “uncomfortable” but that he didn’t want to be “that guy” who is controlling and trying to tell me what to wear

Naturally, I explained to him that I feel I have the right to wear whatever I want and he knew what I dressed like when we were first getting to know each other, so he would just have to get used to it (I said more, but that’s the gist of it)

In my head: Problem solved, let’s move on

 

An example of what I like to wear. This was this past weekend before we went to the club and I got flirted with

Until our conversation today

 

Apparently he did not appreciate my phrasing that he would “just have to get used to it”

He said it made him feel “disrespected”

He also said that it makes him uncomfortable because it he sees lots of other guys “eye fucking” me and it makes him want to punch them

He also said that he doesn’t understand why women feel the need to show off their cleavage and that while they claim that they do it for themselves, they actually do it to get attention

So of course I had to set him straight

I explained that first of all, I am not other women and I do in fact dress for myself

I told him that I have an ample breast size and while I don’t purposefully seek out low cut things to show off my assets, if I like a style and it’s low cut, it doesn’t bother me

I told him I have no problem with my cleavage

I also told him that I do dress for myself and if I were to suddenly dress conservatively just because I’m in a relationship, that would be proof that what I claim isn’t true

I explained that as far as the other guys “eye fucking” me goes, I have always been of the thought that “they can look but they sure as hell ain’t going to touch” and I have personally found it flattering when others have found my partner to be attractive because they can lust all they want after them, they are still coming home with me

Then I told him that if anyone were to make me feel uncomfortable with their advances, I would take care of it myself

He said he knows that but it just makes him upset

Lastly, I told him that the reason I was so defensive and responded with “you’ll just have to get used to it” is because it upset me that my attire and style was even brought up as an issue

I said that it has never been an issue before with anyone and the idea that he felt he had the right to even bring it up to me was upsetting

I told him it would be the same if I brought up that I was uncomfortable with him wearing something he has worn since I met him

He said it was different

I told him that the fact that he feels that it’s different just because I’m a woman is a gender role stereotype and it is a double standard, which is not right

I explained that I am of sound and sensible mind to have an idea of what is appropriate and flattering for me and for what settings

After all of that, he said he wasn’t trying to tell me what I can or cannot wear, nor was he giving me an ultimatum to change my style or else call it quits, but that it does make him uncomfortable and he will continue to feel so

I told him “this is who I am and I’m not going to change it”

I also let him know while I can’t do anything about his uncomfortable feelings, I would appreciate it if he didn’t behave uncomfortably

He asked me how

I told him that when I’m dressed up more “provocatively” than he prefers, to try not to avoid looking at me or make me have to prompt him to get his opinion on how I look when I put all this effort in to fix myself up

I explained that when I ask him how I look, I am asking for his objective opinion, not if he approves or likes it because 95% of the time I know I look good, I just want some acknowledgment that my effort paid off

I told him that while I generally do not give a fuck about what others think about how I look, if someone is important to me, I value their opinion and it is a factor in how I feel, but not the sum of what I think about myself

So after all of this, he backed down and I’m sure he knows that he’s just going to have to suck it up like a big boy because I’m strong, assertive, and my own fucking person who doesn’t stand for gender role shit or conformity

Like I said in the first place, he’ll just have to get used to it