It’s my cleavage, I’ll show it if I want to

Here’s proof that Mr. Artist is indeed not perfect:

Seems he has a bit of a jealous streak

And some old fashioned  stereotypical gender views

If you know anything about me, you know I won’t stand for either of those things

ESPECIALLY when it is concerning me

The “issue” of my attire first appeared on the radar during Halloween

I dressed in a black leather corset-style top that was very low cut (it’s a corset, that’s kinda the point)

 

 

 

 

Now this was not the first time I had worn something low cut around Mr. Artist

However, it was the first time I heard that it actually bothers him

I found this out because he initially didn’t say anything about the way I looked (which was very unusual for him)

In fact, he hardly looked at me at all

When I prompted him, he said I looked good in a half-hearted manner

I knew something was wrong but I wasn’t quite sure what it was

After much prying, it came out that he felt my top was a bit “revealing” and it made him “uncomfortable” but that he didn’t want to be “that guy” who is controlling and trying to tell me what to wear

Naturally, I explained to him that I feel I have the right to wear whatever I want and he knew what I dressed like when we were first getting to know each other, so he would just have to get used to it (I said more, but that’s the gist of it)

In my head: Problem solved, let’s move on

 

Until our conversation today

 

Apparently he did not appreciate my phrasing that he would “just have to get used to it”

He said it made him feel “disrespected”

He also said that it makes him uncomfortable because it he sees lots of other guys “eye fucking” me and it makes him want to punch them

He also said that he doesn’t understand why women feel the need to show off their cleavage and that while they claim that they do it for themselves, they actually do it to get attention

So of course I had to set him straight

I explained that first of all, I am not other women and I do in fact dress for myself

I told him that I have an ample breast size and while I don’t purposefully seek out low cut things to show off my assets, if I like a style and it’s low cut, it doesn’t bother me

I told him I have no problem with my cleavage

I also told him that I do dress for myself and if I were to suddenly dress conservatively just because I’m in a relationship, that would be proof that what I claim isn’t true

I explained that as far as the other guys “eye fucking” me goes, I have always been of the thought that “they can look but they sure as hell ain’t going to touch” and I have personally found it flattering when others have found my partner to be attractive because they can lust all they want after them, they are still coming home with me

Then I told him that if anyone were to make me feel uncomfortable with their advances, I would take care of it myself

He said he knows that but it just makes him upset

Lastly, I told him that the reason I was so defensive and responded with “you’ll just have to get used to it” is because it upset me that my attire and style was even brought up as an issue

I said that it has never been an issue before with anyone and the idea that he felt he had the right to even bring it up to me was upsetting

I told him it would be the same if I brought up that I was uncomfortable with him wearing something he has worn since I met him

He said it was different

I told him that the fact that he feels that it’s different just because I’m a woman is a gender role stereotype and it is a double standard, which is not right

I explained that I am of sound and sensible mind to have an idea of what is appropriate and flattering for me and for what settings

After all of that, he said he wasn’t trying to tell me what I can or cannot wear, nor was he giving me an ultimatum to change my style or else call it quits, but that it does make him uncomfortable and he will continue to feel so

I told him “this is who I am and I’m not going to change it”

I also let him know while I can’t do anything about his uncomfortable feelings, I would appreciate it if he didn’t behave uncomfortably

He asked me how

I told him that when I’m dressed up more “provocatively” than he prefers, to try not to avoid looking at me or make me have to prompt him to get his opinion on how I look when I put all this effort in to fix myself up

I explained that when I ask him how I look, I am asking for his objective opinion, not if he approves or likes it because 95% of the time I know I look good, I just want some acknowledgment that my effort paid off

I told him that while I generally do not give a fuck about what others think about how I look, if someone is important to me, I value their opinion and it is a factor in how I feel, but not the sum of what I think about myself

So after all of this, he backed down and I’m sure he knows that he’s just going to have to suck it up like a big boy because I’m strong, assertive, and my own fucking person who doesn’t stand for gender role shit or conformity

Like I said in the first place, he’ll just have to get used to it

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

25 responses to “It’s my cleavage, I’ll show it if I want to

  • Sunny Lanning

    For the record, you are absolutely adorable.

  • survivednarc

    You looked the most beautiful I have ever seen you look!! Wow! 😻
    I think he just gets a bit insecure and fears losing you, more than anything else. I think so because I can have a jealous streak too, it is based in my own insecurity, but also very much based in the fact I have been lied to and cheated on by guys etc. (Ahem, mainly one guy, the narcissist). I think you made a good point in taking a clear stand for yourself while you also made it clear that you are only going torget touched by him, as your partner, that should make him feel safer hopefully.
    You are absolutely right in that you shouldn’t change who you are and what you wear. Some things you can make a compromise about, and adapt to one another, but not something like this! Cause this is a piece of who you are, the sensual beautiful woman that you are, and we should never let anyone chip away pieces of us. You stood up for yourself and that is cool! 🙂
    Jealousy, while painful, is still mainly the problem of the jealous person and they have to work on their own issues that lie beneath; fears and insecurity etc.

    Keep showing him your love and keep being your beautiful self. 💙💖⚘👍😻😻 (both my cats loved your pics hee hee)

  • Gordon Flanders

    I love when people look at who I’m with. It’s like hell yeah you’re damn right this girl is on fire! Probably your man realizes thanks to your strong stand that he has some issues to work out and will adjust accordingly.

    • samlobos

      Right?!?! I feel the same way. Like if other girls were checking him out, I would be all, “That’s right. He’s yummy and he’s all mine.” I hope you’re right and he’ll learn to adjust. He’ll have to if he plans on staying with me 😉

  • Mouse

    You GO, girl! (LUUUV that print dress – you RAWK it!) You have a bodacious bod, and no, you are NOT responsible for his feelings. BTW, haven’t you always dressed like “you,” the whole time he’s known you? Why is this coming up now? And I wonder where his (insecure?) feelings come from – hope he can figure that part out and deal with it. Good for you for being you, even if he’s uncomfortable with it! 🙂

    • samlobos

      Thank you😁 I agree, his insecurity is something he has to work on. I think that now that we are serious, he feels protective of me. But as I told him, I don’t need protecting and I sure as hell am not going to change my style unless I feel like it💪🏻

  • firuzi2

    I’d acknowledged such a style of dealing with jealousy as totally legitimate if one has awaited effort being repaid for 5% of the time, but I don’t know if that’s the case. And, just for the discussion’s sake, would the circumstances be the same if for example Monica Bellucci or somebody on par with her desirability (you name it) was checking the Artist out?
    JFTR: I don’t wish to pick sort of a gender fight, it’s just that I understand (a) guy’s concern type.

    • samlobos

      I have always found it flattering when others find my partner attractive. When I was married, there were men that would hit on my wife and sons of them were attractive. I had no problem with it because I was secure in our relationship enough to know that she was coming home with me. I feel the same way about Mr. Artist. I’d actually enjoy the idea of a super hot woman wanting my man. That just means he’s desirable and I’m not the only one who thinks so.

  • Tricia Sankey

    I think you have to give him points for communicating his feelings in a way that didn’t sound overbearing at all! Perhaps he genuinely does have what you call an “old fashioned” streak. It is good he told you and not kept it inside. The best way to deal with it is acknowledge it in a way that lets him know you understand, but that you just want to be you. Relationships are all about communication. You two may just be different in some ways. It is not his fault or your fault. I don’t think one should be made to feel right or wrong in that regard. It is interesting though that you are just finding this out. It seems like it should have come up before. So he is probably just now feeling comfortable enough in your relationship to open up. Don’t shut him down or he won’t open up more in the future. That is my 2 cents for whatever it’s worth! Haha I am married to the old fashioned type myself 🙂

  • Fred Colton

    Haha, interesting. All that over what is honestly a pretty conservative amount of cleavage. Men, huh?

  • Crystal Empath

    You look gorgeous…just as a goddess should 😊

  • Hope

    Absolutely adorable. Popeye linchbox for crying out loud! Love your style.

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