Crayons

Image result for broken crayon images

Last night before I fell asleep, I panicked

I remembered that I had another life where I was another person

I lived in a house with 3 dogs and a wife

I had a blue car and knew nothing of dating

I had never worn heels and I wore boring underwear

The idea of having sex with a stranger was unimaginable

I was rigid and innocent and protected

I panicked because I’m a different person now in a different life

I’m someone I never thought I would be, with experiences I never thought I would have

I’ve made mistakes I would have condemned

Yet I have more grace than I ever had before

I told myself, “What have I become?”

“I’m tainted, I’m lost, I’m different”

But as I laid in my bed and looked at my surroundings, I realized that this life feels right

I’m different, it’s true

But who said different is bad?

Who said that I couldn’t change?

That I couldn’t make mistakes and learn and grow?

Who said that who I am now is wrong?

I told myself, “I’m happy now. It’s okay that I have a new life. That I am a new me”

But it’s more than okay

Because I color so beautifully with my broken crayons

I blend the colors and scribble outside the lines

I draw my own shapes and add my own details

I cake on the layers and peel the wrappers and I smile the whole time

And when I’m done, I’ll cry over my masterpiece that took years and pain and faith to create

This broken me is more than okay

Because now I feel whole

 

 

 

Advertisements

About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

20 responses to “Crayons

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: