Worth the Wait

Image result for romantic images

I am so tired

But it is a good tired

It is a tired from enjoying life

From spending time with someone I love

From working hard and waking up early (like God forsaken early)

From doing things I’ve been wanting to do and am finally doing

It is a happy tired

For the first time in years (and I literally mean years), everything is aligning

My mental health is stable

My emotional state is great

My work life and environment is going smooth (I actually love my job)

My family life is as good as it’s going to get (which is the best it’s been so far, like ever)

My finances are working out (this has been quite the stressor)

Valentine is healthy and as cute as ever

My love life is fantastic

Speaking of my love life, Mr. Artist is the most romantic man I’ve ever met

Seriously, he tells me things daily that sound like quotes from Nicholas Sparks novels which you secretly love but say out loud how no one ever talks that that in real life (I’ve actually never read a Nicholas Sparks novel, but I’ve seen a few of the movies)

Examples:

“You’re my fantasy, my dream girl and the summit of desire I’ve longed for all my life.”

“Everything about you is beautiful to me. From your name to your fragileness. From your body to your strength.”

“I really love how we connect.”

“I just want to be the man you deserve.”

“I missed you as soon as you left.”

“I remember in the beginning I came to depend on your texts… now I’m completely dependent on the future of being with you.”

“I fall deeper for you everyday. Thank you for being sweet and understanding. I try to hide that side of me from people. But I know it’s not fair to keep things from you.”

“You are so addictive.”

“You once told me you weren’t perfect…You’re perfect for me.”

But the most romantic thing he’s written is an email to me in response to my Now I See poem (at least, I think it’s considered a poem)

Reading it made me cry

What a lovey dovey mush I’ve become!

I won’t put the whole email here because well, it’s long and sometimes I like to keep some things to myself but I will give you highlights

The email basically reads how wonderful he thinks I am and how we are soulmates and he even created this math equation to “prove” how we are meant for each other (He’s a nerd at heart)

Here are my two favorite quotes from that email:

“You asked why you? You’re the perfect combination of sexual desire, sense of home, and friendship. No matter what, I just want to be with you.”

“I love you, my dearest Samanthamums. (yes, that’s one of his names for me, after the flowers. Don’t ask) My hummingbird. I want to be your endless nourishment in a starving world.”

The humming bird part is a reference to the fact that hummingbirds rarely find enough food naturally to sustain their body’s needs so when they find a feeder, they become dependent on that source of nourishment. He had told me this about hummingbirds and I told him that I already knew that, which is why I am careful to always keep my feeder filled.

There’s more, but you get the idea

He’s also becoming more vulnerable with me, which I find greatly connecting

He’s not used to sharing the parts of himself that get discouraged or depressed and it is greatly out of his comfort zone to even admit out loud whenever he’s feeling that way

I get overwhelmed with emotion sometimes when he tells me things that are so achingly transparent and lovely because  I cannot believe someone could love me so much that he would go through such great lengths to keep me

How different things are from how they were

From haunting pain and relentless heartbreak, to this

Beautiful, genuine happiness

Is this real life?

Sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and realize I’ve been in a Twilight Zone

With this being a pretty reality I’ve shaped for myself to escape the real world

But I keep pinching myself and I’m still here

Sometimes I get small pangs of sadness, especially with all the memories of the love I’ve lost

I remember her and the things we used to share

I miss her

As well as him

He, who this time last year had told me he had chosen

That he wanted to be with me

And then he changed his mind and broke my heart

Still, this current love, the man who is so like them yet different, he’s exactly who I need

He’s a blessing from God

He’s mine and he works hard at it

He’s more than I knew to wish for

And he’s helped me heal, more rapidly than I could anticipate

In retrospect, it was  worth it

The pain, the tears, the loneliness

The prayers while feeling lost and not knowing when it would end

This feeling inside, of utter peace, security, and contentment, was worth the wait

And so was he

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

17 responses to “Worth the Wait

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