He makes me giggle.
Like a little girl.
I haven’t giggled like that in a long time.
He is silly, which I haven’t been used to.
He does stupid stuff like trying to bite my head and make random chipmunk noises.
He’s actually really good at voice impersonations.
I tell him I love him.
Multiple times a day.
At first he wasn’t used to it (or to me being so lovey dovey), but he enjoyed it and reciprocated without hesitation.
He tells me he loves me intensely.
He’s told me how he feels we are meant to be because something kept pushing us back together whenever we tried to stay apart.
He told me that he had been praying for someone that was right for him for a long time and somehow I am with him now despite all of the obstacles.
He said he knows he is a very lucky guy.
He’s sweet, affectionate, generous, kind, gentlemanly, and thoughtful.
He’s not bad on the eyes, either.
Well, he’s on the better end of average, but I find him more attractive with each day.
I am falling deeply in love with him.
It’s very different from the other times I fell in love, however.
The other loves were intense and all consuming, immediate and uncontrollable like the waves of the ocean at high tide, with no sign of letting up.
With Mr. Artist, I feel sober, conscious, and in control.
It’s this quiet and calm love, like a mountain brook, slowly but steadily trickling down into a crystal clear pool.
I’d forgotten how wonderful sex is when you are truly in love with someone.
The sex I had with the guys I dated was horrible to mediocre at best.
The first time I had sex with a man (because I had only been with a woman (my ex wife) up until last October), I was almost devastatingly disappointed.
It was like, “That’s it?!?”
I thought I’d have to go the rest of my life orgasm-less unless I did it myself.
As Mr. Artist and I become more connected and as I’ve allowed myself (only recently) to let go of the things that were holding me back, the sex has become, well, pretty amazing.
I mean, it’s not like we are porn stars or anything.
It’s not perfect or mind blowing like “whoa,” but it’s amazing to me.
We take our time and spend hours just enjoying each other’s bodies.
And thank God for a man with a vagina fetish because he loves going down on me.
Not “likes”, not “tolerates”, not “doesn’t mind”, no LOVES IT!!
For example, the last time we had sex (sadly it was Thursday because after that my period started) he climaxed but because we like to go for hours, he was having a hard time “staying up” to continue on with the marathon.
I had already climaxed before him and so as he was laid there, he told me, “You know, just because my dick isn’t working right now, doesn’t mean I can’t do things to you. I love to pleasure you.”
So he gave me two more orgasms.
Which, by the way, is REALLY hard to do since it takes me a LONG time to cum (antidepressants tend to do that).
He is very, uh, focused and does not care how long it takes, as long as he gets me there.
He wanted to go for a fourth and I was game, except it was really late and we both had to get up early for work the next day. 😦
So maybe I’m the one who won the lottery, not him.
When I told him the tragic news about my period, he said he didn’t care, that he loves spending time with me and enjoys doing more than just sexual things together.
(For the record, I enjoy just hanging out with him as well, but I do have a high sex drive and especially when I love someone, I want it all the time until the honeymoon dies down. He has the same sex drive as I do, by the way.)
Sunday (Mother’s day) he cooked for me and gave me flowers.
His mom is out of town and mine lives far so we spent it together, eating and watch a movie.
I found myself musing how fortunate I am that this man seems so incredibly grateful just to have my company.
He doesn’t want or need anything from me, except just to be with me.
And he thinks I’m amazing.
Instead of taking the things I do for granted or just expecting that I do what I do, he sees it as extraordinary.
He appreciates and recognizes my talents, not because they serve him a purpose, but because he sees them as unique to me.
They are special all on their own in his eyes.
I am special all on my own to him.
I was reading some of my older posts in which I worried and wondered if I would ever find someone again.
I specifically remember around this time last year, crying because I felt like I’d be alone forever.
I remember going out to dinner on my own and watching couples together, baffled at how they had found each other because it was so hard for me to find someone who fit.
I recall praying for a future where I would find someone just right for me.
I think my prayer has been answered.