Mother’s day musing

Eventually I want to be a mother

I imagine I’d make a good one, especially now after all I’ve learned

At least, that’s what I hope

For the meantime, I have Valentine

I love him more than I can express


I love the way he looks at me, with those huge, bulging, expressive eyes

Sometimes when I take him to the dog park, I’ll let him wander around at first, making my way to the benches in the middle of the park

I always keep an eye on him

There usually comes a point where he stops sniffing and starts looking around as though he is lost

I know he’s looking for me

That’s when I call him, nice and loud

I see his little head turn everywhere until he locates me and then swoosh, he’s running to me like an arrow to a bullseye

I absolutely love that moment

I love how he follows me around the apartment

If I’m sitting still, he’s content to stay in his bed, but the moment I move out of sight, he’s looking to see what I’m doing

What really gets to me, though, is how completely he trusts me

He trusts that I will never hurt him or give him anything that is bad

That when I call him, he will be received with love and affection

Pure, unaltered trust

This makes me radiate with happiness

I didn’t have the worst childhood but I didn’t have the best either

Trust was not something expendable to me growing up

But the way this little dog looks at me, it makes me feel that maybe a little human could feel that way about me too

That one day, I’ll have tiny hands reaching out for me, knowing that my hands will meet theirs no matter what

For now, I have a happy, friendly, confident little dog who doesn’t realize he is small

I hope one day, I can say that about my (currently non-existent) future child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

8 responses to “Mother’s day musing

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