I love the movie (500) days of Summer.
I identify with the character of Summer (Zooey Deschanel), the girl that Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) falls in love with.
To some, she is a frustrating character to watch.
Especially for those who identify more with Tom.
She says one thing and does another.
She seems fickle and indecisive.
Maybe even impulsive.
But really, she just isn’t sure.
She knows enough to warn Tom that she can’t guarantee him a happy ending with her.
She knows that her past experiences have been a certain way and maybe he challenges them more than others have.
She knows that she likes him, more than she meant to.
But she isn’t sure.
There is a scene in towards the end of the movie that just shoots straight into my heart every time.
For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, run see it, then read the rest of this post because I’m going to spoil it for you.
She is sitting on a bench overlooking the city with Tom.
She is newly married.
He is still confused by this.
Here is the dialogue that ensues:
Tom: “You never wanted to be anybody’s girlfriend and now you’re somebody’s wife.”
Summer: “It surprised me too.”
T: “I don’t think I’ll ever understand that. I mean, it doesn’t make sense.”
S: “It just happened.”
T: “That’s what I don’t understand. What just happened?”
S: I just, I just woke up one day and I knew.”
T: “Knew what?”
S: “What I was never sure of with you.”
That last sentence.
It kills me because that’s how I feel.
Not only with Mr. Artist, but with others as well.
In college, I broke a boy’s heart because I couldn’t fathom the idea of being “tied down” to one guy, the thought of being someone’s girlfriend seemed too constricting.
A month later, I fell head over heels in love with my now ex-wife and devoted my foreseeable future to her without hesitation.
I don’t set out to be confusing or hurt anyone.
I’d rather get hurt than be the one to inflict pain.
But the only way to know for sure is to try.
And sometimes in the trying, someone gets hurt.
I don’t know until I know.
There are a lot of things I don’t know.
Many things I’m unsure of.
But once I’m sure,
That I know.