Nothing announces to the world that you’ve been having sex like a UTI.
Especially if you are a woman.
I’ve had this minor UTI for about 2 months.
I know, I should have gotten it treated long ago, but I don’t have medical insurance anymore and I was hoping it would go away.
But it just got worse.
Like to where I was achy in my abdomen and lower back all day, it hurt to sit, had blood in my urine, and was sweating at night.
So I made an appointment with a clinic and shelled out $127 for the visit and test yesterday.
I hate not having benefits.
Anyway, Boy Toy decided to contact me yesterday as well. Said he missed me. Missed seeing my smile and hearing my voice.
Goddamnit, do these guys never let go?!?
I’m trying to be a good girl and just talk to and date one guy.
Every time I leave, they always draw me back in.
Sure, I could set a boundary like block his number, tell him not to contact me again, etc.
But…fuck…he taps into my lust and that’s hard to resist.
I know right about now you are thinking, don’t fall for it, Samantha. You are going to fuck things up with Mr. Artist and he’s a really good guy who really cares about you.
I know. That’s why I’m currently telling Boy Toy that we can’t talk anymore. Yet again.
Here’s the thing, I am attracted to Boy Toy. There’s something about his big brown eyes, his full lips, his cute little smile and his persistent, flirty way of talking that does it for me. He’s half Puerto Rican and White. And he’s quite the freaky boy.
I think it’s safe to say you all know I’m a bit of a freak myself so when I find someone that seems to know how to tap into it just right, it’s hard for me not to play along.
That being said, I did not do anything with him via Face Time yesterday, although he tempted me to. I did, however, get to see him “perform” and boy, was there explosion at the end! I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on, even with the fucking UTI.
It’s not as though I’m not attracted to Mr. Artist. He’s average to good looking. Most people who see his picture say he’s handsome. He’s had his share of female admirers and I have no doubt that he could find someone rather quickly if things didn’t work out between us.
I just don’t lust after him. I don’t look at him and want to rip his clothes off or fuck his brains out (I know that’s crass, but let’s just call it what it is).
I don’t feel that smolder of cracking chemistry that makes it hard to pull away. Yes, there is chemistry, but it’s not that wild, uninhibited, naughty passion that I’ve experienced with other guys. Where I just want to talk dirty to them all the time. And pounce them every chance I get. Or “perform” for them.
Mr. Artist is being wonderful. I told him about my UTI and not feeling good and he bought me dinner and more flowers last night. Today he offered to bring me something to eat and anything else I need.
I care about him, I do. I just don’t know to what extent. I freak myself out if I try to think too far ahead into the future so I remind myself that it’s okay if he is “Mr. Right Now” (Thanks, Megan)
Because in my gut, I know he’s already in love with me. I know that he sees himself being with me for a long time. He talks about us in relation to long term. I see it in the way he looks at me. How he seems to be hyper aware of other men around and when we are out, he steers me clear of them. He misses me after not seeing me for a day. And he caters to me hand and foot.
I would never take advantage of him. If anything, I stave him off, telling him I’m okay and don’t need anything or thanking him for his thoughtfulness.
There is tenderness and respect between us. I know I have met another whole. Someone who doesn’t want or need anything from me. Someone who just wants to roll with me.
Is that enough?