Let’s talk about weight…

“It’s ok. You’re fat.”

This is the response I received from a bitter rejectee on OkC today after I sent a message back to his original one thanking him for his compliments but telling him sorry, I’m not interested but good luck in your search.

His initial message had been a paragraph about how beautiful, unique and amazing I was.

Nothing shows true character like rejection.

Two thoughts came up for me.

One, I patted myself on the back for making the right call in not wasting time on this guy.

Two, I was grateful that I don’t suffer from poor body image or low self-esteem because that could have devastated me if I did.

I think about how many women I’ve known and heard of who suffer from horrible insecurities around their bodies and how one of them might have taken such a low jab to their core.

I am in no way skinny or thin.

But I also know I am in no way obese.

Either way, to throw “fat” in someone’s face as an insult is despicable.

I have been on opposite ends of the spectrum.

I was incredibly thin growing up, until my junior year of college when I finally started gaining a little bit of weight.

I was so thin, in fact, that people thought I had an eating disorder.

That couldn’t have been further from the truth.


I had an incredibly high metabolism and I was severely depressed.


You figure it out.


Once I got on medication and became more emotionally stable, I started gaining weight.


And kept gaining.

And gaining.

The highest I got was 200lbs.


At that weight, I felt more self conscious about my body, mostly because my family had made a big stink about me gaining weight and I stopped being able to fit in the clothes that I liked.

The weight gain was largely due to increased eating out, lack of exercise, slowed metabolism, and my ex-wife and I picking up bad eating habits from each other.

The stress and anxiety of separating with and divorcing my ex killed my appetite and in two months I lost 20lbs.

Over the next few months after that, I lost another 15, also because of the stress and depression that came with adjusting to my new life.

I am currently 165lbs, give or take 2-3lbs, a size 12 in US clothing.

I have naturally decreased my portion sizes because my stomach shrunk after losing that much weight and I am maintaining it with occasional exercise and being a little more careful about what I am eating and how much.


I know for a woman announcing your weight and clothing size is a mortal sin.


I should be horrified and lie about it.

But why?

I’m comfortable with where I am at.

There’s nothing wrong with my body.

Yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds and my tummy needs some toning, but overall, I wouldn’t change anything else about it.

I don’t even want to lose weight.

The lowest clothing size I would be comfortable being in is a size 10, roughly 150lbs for me at my height (5’5)

Anything else would be too thin for me.

I would forever be battling with my body, unable to just enjoy where it’s at.

I love that I have curves now.

I don’t have any health issues.

I don’t have back, stomach , or knee problems.

I am comfortable being naked, even in front of someone else.

I don’t have Spanx or special undergarments to hide and pull things in.

What you see is what you get.

And the best part is, I am still deemed attractive by many men (and women πŸ˜‰).

Men who have seen me naked.

Men who are in great shape and have muscular bodies.

Men who appreciate that I am comfortable in sharing my soft, lush body with them.

I know how to dress myself to accentuate and compliment my figure.

I am at a place where I can fit into things I like and  feel good about it.

That’s all that matters.

How you feel about yourself.

So that guy, with his nasty comment, can go fuck himself and his bruised ego.

To all my women in various shapes and sizes, your comfort, health, and confidence in your body makes you beautiful.

Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.














About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

21 responses to “Let’s talk about weight…

  • Megan

    Wow, what a sore loser. You’re certainly not fat, but I think you look far better nowadays than when you were thinner.

    It’s incredible how society’s conditioning has led to ‘fat’ being used as an insult, yet ‘thin’, even to the point of anorexia and illness, is something to aspire to.

    You’re a beautiful person, inside and out. Well done for ditching this particular frog! ❀

    • samlobos

      Thank you Megan. 😊 I know I certainly feel better and more comfortable where I’m at now than I’ve been in the past. To me, that’s all that matters. HugsπŸ’™

  • laurelwolfelives

    What a pig! I don’t like to discuss my weight. I dropped down to 93 and I haven’t been successful in gaining any weight back. I was never big…I hovered around 120. Now, I’m in a size 0 and I look like Hell. YOU, however look fabulous!
    Don’t listen to asshats like that guy. You are beautiful and it shows! I also echo….tell him to go fuck himself! LOL

  • Miss Evelyn

    How rude. And it’s great you met Sarah and got to see Van goh paintings?!? great life you have πŸ™‚

  • sonofabeach96

    What a limp dick little boy. Your stories of dating make me cringe. You’re right, he and his bruised ego should go fuck himself!

  • rachel

    girl…you are HOT! i know i don’t have to tell you that…but i have a little crush on you. πŸ’™

  • Tony Single

    As someone who still suffers from poor body image, this is a breath of fresh air. I hope I can learn to love the way that I look too. For me, it’s my face, and as it’s the first thing people see and respond to… well, I do find it difficult sometimes. Ha ha!

    • samlobos

      I hope you learn to love yourself too, Tony, so that you can see the beauty in you that the rest of us see. πŸ’™ The mirror is a harsh critic when the eyes looking into it are our own.

  • Michelle

    I love how you described your body now. I’m full of curves and am proud of it. I get more looks now at 47, curvy and luscious than I ever did at 115 pounds ❀️ You’re beautiful.

  • Whimsical Through Words

    You’re amazing. This is very inspiring to me. I can honestly say that you are an inspiration to me πŸ™‚ We only get one body, and we need to take care of it and love it ❀

  • Ocean Bream

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post, mostly because your confidence and the way you are comfortable with yourself no matter your weight speaks volumes to me. I weigh 165lbs. However I detest my body, I constantly call myself fat and ugly and protudey and I wear spanks and waist trainers and generally live in hell because of it. I am not proud of what I eat and am aware that I could be healthier and fitter if I tried harder, so perhaps that is why I am so hard on myself. This post makes me feel that just because I’m not where I want to be weight-wise, doesn’t mean I am diminished in value. I am still me. You are still you. And that guy is a worthless piece of shit. He evidently didn’t think you were ‘fat’ when he praised your looks and so it just reveals his immature malice raising to the surface at rejection. Also want to mention that your smile is stunning. Also want to say I love how you write and what you write about, and you have really inspired me to be more true to myself. πŸ™‚

    • samlobos

      Thank you! 😊 I am very grateful that I could help inspire you to love yourself, no matter what. I think self love is more important than anything because how we feel inside radiates and attracts the same type of energy from others. I hope you learn how to accept your body for where it is at, even as it continues to be “a work in progress.” I see myself as a continual “work in progress”. πŸ˜‰

      • Ocean Bream

        I guess each of us as a human can individually try harder to be better, at anything, not just weight. So ‘work in progress’ is a wonderful way to put it, but there must be a balance so emotional well-being is taken care of πŸ™‚

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