Free sex


Sex comes easy to me.

I don’t ever have to look or ask for it.

It just gets offered.

Actually, sometimes it gets thrown at me, much like panties are thrown at romantic singers feet during concerts.

I don’t think this is necessarily a good thing.

Take today, for instance.

I’ve been feeling very frisky lately.

Like whoa frisky.

It’s that time of the month and sometimes my hormones go into overdrive during it and I just want to DEVOUR someone.

I mean, just pleasure them until they can’t take it anymore because I’m that turned on and can’t do anything else about it.

I used to do this with my ex-wife.

She never complained.

Anyway, because I am single and do not want to hook up for the sake of hooking up, I have to satisfy my craving another way.

Chocolate is my go to.

So I was in Vons, trying to figure out a proper “drown my sexual frustrations” dinner, when I received a phone call from a San Diego number.

My first thought was that it was from Mr. K and I’ll admit, I was a little pleased at the thought of it.

But it wasn’t him.

It was someone else.

It was the construction worker who wanted to impregnate me.

I’m not kidding.

He had told me about how if he were sleeping next to me night after night, I would have tons of children because his sperm is so powerful because he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant while she was on birth control and they were using condoms.

Yeah, that guy.

I hadn’t talked to him since November.

I remember not being interested in him then and being glad that he didn’t try to call me anymore.

Needless to say, I was caught off guard that he was suddenly calling me now.

He has this deep, buttery voice. It’s a really nice voice, actually. (I have a thing for nice voices. Something I’ve discovered about myself)

But his voice, while nice, creeps me out.

It creeps me out because he makes unwanted verbal advances at me and seems to know that it makes me uncomfortable but continues to do it anyway. It’s like he can’t take a hint or doesn’t want to.

He started off by saying that he realizes there’s been distance between us and it’s because he got caught up with work and then he was going through his phone and thought that he would like to try to close that distance up.

He asked me if I was open to doing a long distance relationship. I lied and told him I was not. He said “Oh, really?” but the way he said it was more like a tease instead of a question.

He asked again about the long distance thing but rephrased it a different way. I repeated that I was not interested, again. He repeated what I said verbatim as though he was computing it but didn’t believe it.

He pressed forward asking if I would want to meet up for coffee or something. I told him I wasn’t interested in that and in a smart ass way asked “You want to drive two hours to have coffee?” He said, “Okay, lunch then.” I told him I was still not interested.

At that point, he should have gotten the hint that I was not interested in spending time with him. I mean, it’s not like I was leading him on. On top of me blatantly saying I was not interested, there were plenty moments of awkward silence in which I did nothing to fill up the space to encourage him to continue talking to me.

But no. Instead he says, “Okay, so you aren’t interested in coffee or lunch. What about if we just meet up to hug for awhile?”

I told him, no, I was not interested in that either.

He said, “So you aren’t interested in hugging or anything to do with food. Hmm, you make it hard to spend time with you. I’ll have to think of something else.”

At this point, I was bracing myself for some type of sexual innuendo because I could just feel it coming on. I, however, was not prepared for what came out of his mouth next.

In his deep, disturbingly smooth voice, he said, “How about this, why don’t I just go over  and suck on your pussy for an hour?”

Um…. What?!?

I stood there, in the middle of the frozen food section of Vons, with my mouth slightly open from shock.

Now, I’m a big fan of sex. I probably think about it almost as much as men do, especially now since I’m not getting it on the regular. I don’t shy away from talking about it and I’m all for sexting and phone sex and innuendos.

But I haven’t talked to this guy for almost three months and I thought I had made it pretty clear to him that I was not interested. So for that to come out of his mouth at that moment, was shocking to me.

If someone had said that to my sister or my friend, I would have told them to tell him to “Fuck off”. But for some reason when it comes to myself, I have trouble being rude, even when it’s called for. Plus, I was completely taken aback.

So I simply told him, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Again, instead of taking a hint, he said, “Oh, okay” like he was surprised I wasn’t ready to get down and dirty while staring at frozen meals for one.

He said something else about trying to figure out what I wanted to do with him,  but I just kinda stopped listening and told him that I had to go because I was about to check out (which was a total lie).

I was a bit disoriented for a bit after that and I couldn’t understand why.

Then I finally figured it out.

I felt violated by him.

I felt that way because I had made it clear to him that I was not interested and instead of respecting that, he kept pushing and pushing, knowing that I was clearly not comfortable.

I don’t like him contacting me.

It’s not because he’s unattractive or anything (although I’m not attracted to him), it’s that he’s pushy, seems to have an agenda, and doesn’t respect me by continuing to see how far he can push against my comfort zone even as I’m making it very clear to him that I’m not wanting to go there with him.

I will of course ignore his calls if he tries to contact me again.

I don’t need creepers with unnaturally pleasant voices in my life.

So yeah, I get offered “free” sex.

Plenty of it. (The guy who begged to let him sex the spark between us checked in with me again like 2 weeks ago and said the offer was still valid)

But it comes with strings.

Strings I don’t want to get all tangled up in.

Seriously, though, is this real life?!?

What the fuck.













About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

25 responses to “Free sex

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