Sex Diet

I’ve never been very good at restricting myself.

I’m a bit impulsive and luckily for me, I’ve never had the urge to do anything super reckless or stupid.

I don’t do diets.

I don’t believe in them, I figure moderation and portion sizes is a good way to live.

I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied.

I hate working out but started up again because 1) it keeps my energy up and is good for me, 2) I don’t want to lose any muscle mass, 3) I want to continue eating whatever I want without fluctuating in my weight too much.

Then there’s sex.

Before I was married, I didn’t have sex so I didn’t know what I was missing. Ignorance is a beautiful thing. I’m actually really glad I waited.

I found one person  I was dedicated to and who was dedicated to me and we had sex whenever it struck our fancy.

When I turned 30, my sex drive went way up and that was okay because again, I was married and had someone to do something about it with.

Fast forward to now.

I’m 34 with an amazing sex drive and no one to share it with.

This fucking sucks!!!!!

On top of figuring out how dating works in this fucked up modern society, I have to reign in the sex vibes I apparently give off (read more about that here)

If you’ve been reading me for a minute, you know I’m very sexual, sensual, and uninhibited. This is apparently not working in my favor with the dating scene because when lots of men see me and all they think of is “sex”. (this has been my experience so far, at least)

They don’t even have to meet me, my pictures alone turn them on. They aren’t even sexy pictures!!!!!!!! I wouldn’t say this except I hear it over and over and over again. (I mean, shit, have you read my compliment’s series?!? Those are just a fraction of the things I’ve been told) Is this common? I don’t know what’s normal anymore.

Anyway, for my own good, I’m trying to reign in the sex instincts.

I don’t have sex just to have sex. I have sex if I like the person. It’s not even a physical attraction type of motivator. I can’t see someone and think “They are hot, I want to have sex with them.” I have to connect with them on an emotional level, even if it’s not on a really deep one yet.

However, I realize you can connect with lots of people emotionally and sometimes that primal instinct blurs things into feeling like you like them more than you actually do because the “little lady” really just wants to get some.

But then the crazy comes out (theirs, not mine) and then I beat myself up and think “You should have waited longer before having sex with them. It wasn’t even worth it.”

So now I’m trying to put myself on a sex diet.

I didn’t have sex for a year and it fucking sucked and then in true diet relapse, once I felt ready to have sex again, I binged and now I’m here.

The binging just gave me mediocre sex and disappointment.

Maybe I shouldn’t think of it as a diet. Maybe just as portion control. Or fasting. I don’t know.

I just know I have to wait waaaaaaaaaaay longer to have sex with the next guy, which I was trying to do in the first place but failed miserably at.

I’m tired of the crazy coming out AFTER the deed is done.

This is bullshit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

11 responses to “Sex Diet

  • SheIsFemale

    Sex is a conundrum and an enigma and a paradox and all those terms I have trouble remembering the proper definitions of. If we could all do it just to do it and feel good and that was it and then we could go about our lives, life would seem grand. But for many of us, connection is required for true enjoyment. And connection is so tricky! Especially when we seem to connect with those who don’t seek(or even run from) connection. And these feelings of wanting to express sexuality are so powerful and insistent!
    It IS bullshit.
    Having said that, I’m learning that the sexual parts of me are not going anywhere just because I’m not having sex right now. I’m learning that I need more than just getting off and that I’m not going to get that need met by having sex with someone I don’t feel connected to and who isn’t trying to connect with me. I’m trying to look at my situation as self-care rather than restriction. I’m making sure that I’m behaving according to how I truly feel, instead of what my body suddenly wants.
    I’m sorry you’re struggling with this right now. I understand where you’re coming from. You’re not alone!

  • kingmaker

    You are very expressive in your blog I really enjoy reading it. It’s a breath of fresh air to see someone be honest about things like this.

  • lifeaslucyjane

    I feel like we have a lot in common and I don’t want you to think I have it easy lol so I have to tell you the first boy that I slept with after my relationship ended I haven’t heard from since we did the deed, that second “nice guy” I went on a date with and friend-zoned texted me yesterday; “I’m drunk and pantless. I think you’re hot as” maybe not so nice after all. This new man, although charming ect, really only time will tell. In the end we all make decisions, some regrettable, but eventually a gentleman will come along for you I’m sure of it 🙂

  • survivednarc

    I agree, it is all bullshit!! Give us some people that we can connect with emotionally, on a real deep level, AND have great sex with!! 😃 Is it so much to ask… lol!

    On a more serious note… yeah like the others say… see it as self care… protecting our hearts… our bodies can be a bit “selfish machines” that don’t really care about our hearts/souls … so we have to have some discipline over our bodies… I also like what you say about portion sizes. . Thats a good way to think about sex too I guess.. 😃 Take care chica.. The universe is working for us, it’s just that it’s a long line of customers before us, and we have ticket number 47321679.. think of something slow in the US.. DMV? 🙌💋💟💗💖

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