What is this?!?

Saturday night: He had said all the wrong things, was kinda dorky, and initially irritated me, but here I was, wanting to kiss him.

Rewind to Saturday morning.

Prince Charming disappeared after I wrote that post. The Romanian stopped texting me as well. It’s been 4 days and no word from him. Funny enough, I had prayed the night before and asked God to remove anyone from my life that was not good for me. The next day, both men were no longer contacting me.

So by Saturday, my depression was slowly wearing off (thanks in large part to my wonderful, amazing friends) and there was no one of interest on my radar. I was okay with this.

Then I got a message from this guy on OkC who lives in the same city as I do. 29 years old, nice smile, average looking guy. We started messaging and right away he asked me if I wanted to grab coffee or something.

I like guys that ask me out without hesitation and so I agreed. Plans evolved into him suggesting we see an afternoon movie.

When we met, he was incredibly awkward. Not awkward looking, but shy, indecisive and he mumbled a lot.

He also said all the wrong things. For example, most men comment on my blue hair and say how cool it is. He stared at my hair and asked me how I pull it off. Like how do I have blue hair and not care about what other people think about me. I wasn’t sure how to take that comment/question but I told him that’s just how I am, that I don’t care what people think.

On the way to the theater, I told him that my ex is a woman. He looked at me weird. I told him so. He seemed confused and then proceeded to tell me how he didn’t think you could have actual sex with a woman. Irritated, I promptly corrected him and explained the spectrum of sexuality to him and stated that sex is sex. In other words, I educated him.

He took it in and then moved on. No argument, just accepted it. I wasn’t sure how to handle this. At one point, I thought to myself, why do I seem to get the socially awkward guys and thank God we are watching a movie because I don’t know if I could spend time with him otherwise.

During the movie, I kept expecting him to “make a move”. He didn’t. Didn’t even attempt. I also did not know what to do with that. He said more confusing things after the movie. Things that seemed like insults and curiosity at the same time, except I could tell he didn’t mean any of it to be mean or insulting. He’s lucky I’m patient.

He told me he had something to do at 3pm. I teased him about having another date. He told me it was to see his daughter, 10 months old. He talked about that relationship for a bit. On the drive back to where I left my truck, he asked me what I was doing later. I was a little surprised by that question since I had put him in his place several times and called him out on shit and also felt like he might not  like me because of it.

I told him I didn’t have any plans and he asked if I wanted to spend some more time together. To my own surprise, I agreed. I guess I figured I shouldn’t judge him too quickly since it was the first date and you can’t really tell much about a person based on first impressions. I also didn’t have anything else to do, so I figured, why not.

He texted me several hours later and asked if he could come over. I told him no. I explained why. He said he wouldn’t try to have sex with me. I told him every guy says that. We went back and forth. He was very persistent. Finally he told me I could call the cops on him if he tried. I laughed. Then I gave in.

I had already made up my mind that I was not going to sleep with him. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I liked him! He came over and my guard was up. He didn’t seem to notice. I kept expecting him to make a move, reach for my hand, brush my cheek, sit waaay too close to me, but nothing. Four hours later…no attempts.

What did happen in those four hours is we talked. And laughed. And he still said unintentionally awkward things but it was cute, in a dorky way. He was extremely laid back and didn’t seem to have an agenda. I liked the way he interacted with Valentine, which is much like the way I interact with him, tender, gentle, and patient.

He surprised me. I couldn’t read him very well and he didn’t do anything I expected him to do and I liked it. I liked it a lot.

He wasn’t full of compliments. He didn’t tell me how beautiful/gorgeous/sexy/etc I am. He didn’t say I have beautiful eyes or a great smile. What he did do is look at my profile in front of me (which was weird) and they way he looked at my pictures told me exactly what he thought about me.

He only complimented my laugh. We were watching this new show, “Superstore” (which is freaking hilarious, by the way) and I was laughing, a full, robust belly laugh. He was sunk back in the sofa and quietly said, “Your laugh is amazing.” Something fluttered when he said that. I turned and looked at him and said thank you. He glanced at me sideways, smiled softly and then looked back at the TV.

He has this monotone voice, is not smooth or charming at all, and looks dorky when he laughs, but I found myself wanting to kiss him. So I did. He looked surprised, in a good way. I liked that he was surprised by it.

I kissed him again and then he took over. There was nothing urgent or aggressive about him. It was just right. He wasn’t the best kisser, but when he went for my neck, it was euphoric. And for some reason, I had the thought that I would just teach him how I like to be kissed another time.

It got heated but clothes stayed on and hands didn’t wander too much. I stopped and reminded him “no sex”. He didn’t seem irritated or tortured by it. Just a bit dazed and then when he sat up, he grabbed my hand and held it, squeezing my fingers with our heads leaned together.

He stayed for a while longer and we talked and then he had to go because it was late and he works on Sundays.

He gave me a small kiss and then left.

I went to bed thinking about him and woke up thinking about him. I don’t understand why but I think I like him. And it makes no sense to me.

I’m not banking on him. If something works out, it would be great. If not, I’m okay with being on my own. This is my work and I intend to do it.

However, I think  I might have found one of those elusive “nice guys”.

I’m glad I didn’t write him off right away.

Funny how things can change, even in the span of a few hours.