In full disclosure, saying goodbye to Mr. K a second time triggered deep seeded emotions from my heartbreak about Mr. Nerd. I spent most of Sunday night sobbing with the same intensity as I had when he first broke my heart 6 months ago.
It amazes me how strong that pain still is, even as I have tried to move on and deal with it. I have accepted that it is like the tide, coming and going with varying degrees of force and I must ride it out in order to keep moving forward.
The men of interest have dwindled down to two. The Romanian, who I’ve been talking to for about 2 weeks and a new guy, Prince Charming.
I trade a handful of texts with the Romanian every night because he works late and I go to sleep early, so there is a small window of time for us to connect.
We haven’t had much in depth conversations, although he knows about my marriage and divorce and also my heartbreak with Mr. Nerd.
Amazingly he is still interested.
We’ve talked on the phone only once, briefly. I probably will not get to meet him for a few more weeks as he is finishing up a project in Washington.
There is something sweet and gentle about him that I cannot explain. I think it’s in the way he approaches me and asks me how I am and the way he sends me emojis of kissy faces and roses. He has yet to say anything inappropriate or overtly sexual to me.
I want to meet him but then I don’t. Part of me doesn’t want to invest much in him until we meet because I know that reality in online dating is often different than what is projected out.
I’m afraid that when I meet him, it will be another disappointment. The sweet and gentle man I am interacting with will turn out to be like the men I’ve met over and over again and have no desire to be with.
This new guy, Prince Charming is so named because he is over the top romantic. Almost too good to be true. So naturally, I suspect he might be a catfish.
Prince Charming is a white, 6ft good looking guy who is 40. Never married, no kids. Self employed. He messaged me on OkC telling me among other things that the men in my area must be blind and wondered why I was still single.
I messaged him back and he replied with a lengthy message about how he is looking for a serious relationship and wants to settle down. He listed all the wonderful traits he possesses and what he is looking for in a relationship and a woman. He asked me for my email since he stated he wanted to be able to talk to me outside of the website.
In his first email, he sent a very long description of who he is (again) passionate, loving, romantic, etc. He uses very flowery words and imagery describing his love like a waterfall, with his heart as the waterfall and the water as the love that flows from his heart.
The second email is titled, “To a beautiful queen” and in it he says how much he enjoys reading from me and explains his relationship history as well as his current job in great detail. He also goes back to the waterfall analogy and all these wonderful, romantic traits he possesses and how he wants to build a special friendship with me.
The third and most recent email is a doozy. It is titled, “Will you be my queen???” In it he explains how his parents died 12 years ago and how he inherited this business of buying jewelry, gold, and art from around the world to sell it over in the states. He states that he is presently in Dubai on a business trip.
Then it gets really flowery. He writes how amazing I am and how he finds me on his mind more often than any other thought. He also writes that sometimes I surprise him by making my way into his thoughts and there are times when he has woken up and realized I’ve been in his dreams. He says how he imagines being in my arms and lingering there, knowing that there is nothing he’d rather do more.
He finishes off by saying he realizes how deeply his life has been touched by me.
I want to believe that this could be true. That someone could actually speak and feel this way about me. But it’s just too peculiar, too soon, too…much.
I mean, he’s said that his special friendship with me is something he wants to make permanent and eventually build into a family of our very own.
I am proceeding with extreme caution. Until he gives me an overt reason to disbelieve him, I have to treat him as if he is real and genuine.
In my experience, when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. I’m waiting for him to slip in a request for my bank account or some other scam type of move.
It makes me a bit sad though, because chances are I’m being romanced fictionally by a catfish for Lord know what reason. But it still feels good to read those things. Even if it’s fake and over the top.
And part of me feels like this would be the only way I would receive such romantic sentiments, is if it is a con. My own made up fairy tale.