Breathing

I’m in a good place.

I feel it in my bones.

My spark is back.

The urge to sleep time away disappeared a few days ago.

I now look forward to all of my free time.

I still have moments of rapid cycling emotions.

I go through missing and reminiscing, briefly sadness, but then I get back to where I need to be.

Here and now.

It’s a process, but I no longer feel stuck in it.

I’ve been praying more.

I feel like it’s been helping.

A lot.

I have also come out of my isolation phase and have talked to some friends about what’s been going on.

I have some amazing people in my life.

Suddenly I’m not dreading the next 3 months.

I was looking at my calendar today and thought, “It’s going to go by so fast.”

And then I got the sensation of relief, like, “I got this.”

My life isn’t looking so empty.

I have things to do, fun to be had.

There is a co-worker’s wedding coming up and I have this dress that I’m so excited to wear.

Sounds silly, but it’s true.

I bought it on a whim back in April just because I fell in love with it.

I had no idea where I would wear it to.

I never went to prom or anything like that when I was young and I rarely go to weddings.

So this gives me an excuse to wear my fancy dress.

Maybe I’ll share a picture with you all when I do.

I will also be attending parties and hanging out with friends.

Going to Disneyland with my nephew for his first visit there.

Halloween, my favorite holiday, is coming up.

I don’t have any plans yet, but I hope to find something to do.

I don’t want to be alone that night.

I bought this awesome black, faux leather corset, just because I liked it back in summer and it actually makes a good costume piece to be a vampire.

But a lot of my regular wardrobe could easily be used as a costume piece for a vampire.

Anyway, what I’m saying is, I want to dress up and have fun that day and I’m going to see to it that I do.

As much as is in my control to, anyway.

The point of sharing all of this is, I am actually looking forward to these things, whereas as little as a week ago, I really could have cared less.

So yeah, I’m still healing and a little wobbly, but with each day I feel myself getting better and better.

Breathing feels so good.

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About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

2 responses to “Breathing

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