This is exactly the last place I would have imagined myself being a year ago.
If anyone would have told me that in one year, I would be getting a divorce from my wife and nursing a broken heart from a relationship with a married man, I would have laughed in their face.
And then insisted that they find a job that doesn’t include fortune-telling.
“No fucking way” would probably be my exact words.
Yet, here I am.
Reality is so much stranger than any type of fiction.
Even though my current personal life is not anywhere near what I would like it to be, there is an odd sort of hope I have gained from enduring the drastic changes my life has taken on.
This year is proof that anything can happen.
Which means the possibility that my life will be very different this time next year is almost a guarantee.
I figure, can things really get worse than what I’ve already been through?
I suppose they could, but I’m hoping to catch a break.
I feel like I’ve paid dues enough for a couple of bullshit free years at the very least.
So here’s what I want my life to look like a year from now.
My secret prayer.
- I want to be content and at peace within myself.
- I want to be emotionally stable.
- I want to have gained and practiced good personal boundaries (specifically in romantic relationships)
- I want to be in the middle of pursuing a long time goal (be it writing a book, learning Spanish, etc)
- I want to be salaried at my job (which I love but get paid hourly, so that part sucks).
- I want to be in a healthy, stable relationship or at least close to meeting someone special.
- I want to be closer to God.
But shit, I don’t even know what tomorrow will bring.
However, for once, I’m actually looking forward to the mystery of the unknown.
I’m no longer scared of it.
I’m even a little excited at the thought.
I mean, I’ve survived hell and I’m still thriving, I think I’m good to handle whatever’s next.
And I have a feeling things can only get better from here.
It feels good to have hope again.