I have writers block.
My creativity is suffering and I’m supposed to work on a short story trilogy for the Crusade, but I’m drawing a blank.
My creative process is usually simple.
I think of an idea and it pours out of me.
Now I’m finding that I’m trying to force myself to create scenes and it just isn’t working.
On the positive side, I feel more like myself.
I feel it in the way I interact with others, the way I dress, even the way I talk.
My confidence and strength is returning.
I sense it in the way others respond to me.
I am becoming more present and less anxious.
It feels good.
I don’t want to sound foreboding, but I feel like I’m hitting the calm before the storm.
Yes, another one.
But a different type.
A quieter, course changing storm.
Everything in my body tells me that something is coming and it’s going to be complicated, but I’m not sure what it is or what it will look like.
I have my suspicions, but I don’t know how much I can trust my intuition these days.
But I have a feeling I will have more control over this storm.
There will be choices I will have to make.
Of course, I could just be having a dramatic moment or wishful thinking.
Maybe it’s just my dread of the holidays coming up and the memories attached to them.
Yeah, maybe that’s it.
Or maybe not…
Only time will tell I guess.
For now, I’m going to milk the shit out of this calm.
Now to conquer this stupid writers block…