I hope you have wishes that come true.
I pray for you to have all the love and happiness in the world.
I really do.
I love you.
It’s true, regardless of what you believe.
I just loved myself more.
I know I hurt you.
I didn’t mean to.
I was figuring it out as I went along.
Stumbling onto these insights, fumbling with the emotions unearthed from deep within.
I know it was confusing.
I was confused too.
One day I wanted to work on it, other days I could hardly look at you because it was so painful.
I know you think I gave up, that I ran away.
You couldn’t see how hard I was trying.
Or for how long.
I gave you my all.
I broke myself trying to keep us together.
I’m sorry it hurt.
That I shattered your heart.
But I loved you too.
I loved you enough to let you go, to give you the opportunity to find someone who would be in love with you.
Like I used to be.
Someone not restless or growing at too fast a pace.
Someone more perfect for you than me.
Someone who would not enable you.
But yes, I did learn to love me more.
I’m sorry it came to that.
Maybe someday you’ll forgive me.
Maybe you’ll even understand.
I hope you are content when that happens.
I hope you gain the life you’ve always wanted, free of insecurity and fear.
And most of all, I hope you learn to love you more.