No regrets 

Today I went back to court to file the final papers for my divorce. 
Now it’s just a waiting game. 

I had lots of time to reflect on my journey, this decision I made that’s coming to a close. 

I ask myself if I gave up too soon, if I should have stuck it out longer. 

If anything would have changed. 

But the more I think about it, the more certain I am that I made the right choice. 

Even in light of my recent fumblings and heartache, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. 

I wasn’t happy anymore. 

And although I still loved her, when I said it, I no longer meant it the way she took it. 

My heart was absent. 

And she deserved my whole heart. 

She deserved someone who was unconditionally in love with her. 

I was no longer that person. 

I deserved different things. 

I deserved to be seen, to be appreciated. 

I deserved to grow and feel free to do so without judgement. 

I deserved to explore, to flourish, to put myself first. 

It’s almost done, this marriage of mine. 

In a couple more months it will be official. 

But if I’m completely honest with myself, it was already done long before I filed for divorce. 

About samlobos

I am an avid fan of creating narratives in my head about random experiences and quotes for future books I will probably not write. I harbor a 15 year old girl in my psyche and like to solve world issues when I'm half asleep. View all posts by samlobos

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