Today I cried.
More like sobbed.
Because my heart has been broken one too many times.
My hope has been stomped on more times than I can count.
My resolve has become dangerously close to giving up completely.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
How much more disappointment can I can handle?
I’m so resilient.
I have thick skin and an elastic heart.
I always return back to form.
But maybe I’m being stretched too far.
Maybe I’m just doing more damage to myself by continuing to try.
Maybe I should give up.
Close myself up for awhile.
Don’t let anyone in.
Because so far, I’ve been hurt more often than not.
So why does this hope continue to linger?
Am I going mad?
Why do I limp on, as much as it hurts?
I should just curl up, hide, wave my white flag.
What’s wrong with me?
I sob from the pain, but I still cling to it.
I hold my breath, waiting, pacing, driving myself insane with hopeful images of what could be, what might be, what I desire to be.
But I just set myself up for heartbreak.
I have sound logic and an irrational heart.
This will be the death of me.
* I borrowed the sentence “I have thick skin and an elastic heart” as well as the title from Sia’s song “Elastic heart”