First of all, I really want to thank everyone who took the time to read my posts and any readers who may stumble across my little blog in the future. I am genuinely touched by the outpouring of love and validating support I’ve recieved in the little amount of time that I posted most of this. I was not expecting so much positive feedback. I merely wanted to share in order to provide insight to those who are familiar with this disorder and wish to know what it’s like on the other side and to provide some hope and kinship for those who have or are currently struggling as well.
Depression is often considered “the common cold” of mental illness. To that I ask, have you ever seriously considered what it would be like to live with the common cold? To constantly be sniffling, sneezing,having an alternatively stuffy and runny nose and headaches you can’t get rid of? To walk around with a foggy head and have to carry tissue and cough drops all the time? To struggle to breathe normally and have to make constant adjustments in order to stay functional while others around you breathe with ease? And then, what happens when that chronic cold starts to turn into something more dangerous? More life threatening? So if you have the habit of subscribing to that course of thought, I hope my experience and words give you something more to consider.
I view mental illness as a huge black paint spot splattered on an otherwise beautiful painting. You have two choices, you can either let the spot remain the center of attention and ruin the painting, or you can turn it into abstract art, full of different colors and shapes of your own making.
I’ll leave you with a childhood memory…
When I was a teenager, my beloved cousin asked me if I could be any animal in the world, what would I be? “A butterfly”, I promptly answered because I felt that it adequately described how I viewed what my life’s journey would look like. From a devouring, ugly caterpillar, to self possessed, inner transformation in a cocoon, and finally to emerge as a beautiful butterfly, gentle, fragile, and free.
To which my other, younger cousin replied, “But you would die in like a week! You would end up as a splat on someone’s windshield!”
Makes me laugh everytime.