Time flies

My little guy turned 1 years old on September 20th

I can’t believe it

I officially have a toddler

I still getting used to being a mommy

In some ways, I thought it would never happen for me

It just seemed like there were so many obstacles in the way

First, it was because I was with another woman and so we couldn’t conceive the way heterosexual couples could

On top of that, our finances were not stable enough to support a little family

Then I got divorced in my thirties, which made me feel like by the time I met someone who I wanted to have children with, I’d be “too old”

But here I am, 22 days before I turn 41, with a 1 year old who definitely keeps me on my toes

I’m the only one of my friends who has a baby

Everyone else has kids already in school

Some even have kids that have graduated high school or are close to it

Sometimes it feels like I arrived late to the party, but honestly, I’m just glad I got invited

I absolutely love being a mom

It is exhausting and taxing and forget about my vanity because my body has definitely seen better days and I almost forgot how to put on makeup at one point because it had been that long and “me time” looks like me being able to dye my hair about once a month because the white hairs have arrived in hordes and I could go on and on except that I still love being a mom despite it all

Baby is my favorite gift from God

I see both myself and my husband in him

And boy, do we have our work cut out for us, because we are two very strong personalities with very assertive tendencies and baby is already reflecting that

Baby let’s us know what he wants and what he doesn’t, and honestly, I’m glad about that

I’m happy he’s secure enough to assert himself

Parents usually get annoyed with the children that remind them of themselves

I don’t find that to be true for me

I love having a little mini me

My husband says (only half jokingly) that it’s because I’m narcissistic

I just laugh and roll my eyes

Because the truth is, I’ve made peace with the parts of me that aren’t that pretty

I accept myself for who I am without judgment

And in doing that, I can accept my son for who he is without judgment

I can love the parts of him that are the prickly parts of me because I’ve made peace with it

So when baby has a tantrum because he’s not getting his way, I can handle it with grace

And when he eventually becomes a know it all who questions everything, I’ll be able to handle that with grace too ( most of the time, haha)

So cheers to my strong, assertive, ginormous baby who likes to make zombie noises and duck lips at random!